36 Valuable Life Lessons From My 36 Years Around The Sun
Today marks my 36th birthday, and the older I get, the more I realise how important it is to look back to see how far I’ve come.
Like everyone, I've had many failures, made mistakes and been thrown off course by situations beyond my control.
I’ve experienced failed relationships, projects that never materialised, and hobbies that I quit before I even started. I’ve made silly decisions, lost people I love, and hurt people along the way.
But, as the great Albert Einstein once said, ‘‘the only mistake in life is the lesson not learned.’’ And I couldn’t agree more.
So today I want to share with you some of my favourite hard-earned lessons, as a result of my 36 years around the sun.
In no particular order:
1. Recognise, accept and embrace difference in yourself and in others; after all, these are the qualities that make us unique. Dare to be different in a world that tries to make us all conform. There is beauty in imperfection.
2. Trust your gut instinct and stand up for yourself; or walk away from what feels uncomfortable. Trust in your intuition to guide you to the right answer.
3. Ask for help when you need it, no (wo)man is an island. The simple and courageous act of asking for help and support and making ourselves vulnerable, creates positive human connection with others.
4. Laughter is the best medicine. Find a way to laugh every day. As Audrey Hepburn once said, "Laughter is and always will be the best form of therapy".
5. Kindness counts above all else and is always the answer. It does not matter how good looking, educated or interesting someone is. It all means nothing without kindness.
6. It’s never about where you start; whatever your situation or story, you can change it. Enjoy the journey and see where you end up.
7. Knowledge is only potential power. It's what you do with that knowledge that matters. Applying that knowledge by taking action is what truly counts.
8. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and take risks. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, ‘Do one thing every day that scares you’. Make your heart race. Try something new. Feel your fear and let it motivate you to be better, rather than keep you stuck.
9. Love yourself. Especially when you don’t feel like you deserve it. When you truly love yourself, you allow yourself to be the real, authentic you. Understand that your needs matter and prioritise them. No one else will.
10. The biggest regrets come from pleasing other people. You can't please everyone. The only person you should seek approval or validation from is yourself. Only you know your truth.
11. It’s ok if people don’t like you. Not everyone will. Accept it and move on. Seek to surround yourself with people who support you and have your back; find your tribe.
12. Forgive others and let it go. Don't dwell. Sometimes people behave in unacceptable ways; but it doesn't define who they are as a person. We all make mistakes. But it doesn’t mean you have to stay friends with them if they keep hurting you or if they keep pushing your boundaries.
13. Talk to new people. All opportunities come from the people you meet and there is something to learn from every person, good or bad.
14. Everyone is on a different journey and has their own version of what success looks like, so don’t waste time comparing yourself to others. There are no prerequisites to be successful either; it's all up to you.
15. Say no and don’t feel guilty about it. You have every right to set and enforce boundaries; don’t let anyone make you feel bad or guilt you in to something you don’t want to do or feel uncomfortable with. Martha Beck said it best, “When it comes to saying yes or no to something or someone, choose the answer that feels like freedom.”
16. Take responsibility for your life, including your mistakes. Don't blame others, play the victim or make excuses. It will just keep you stuck. Your life’s direction is entirely up to you. No one else.
17. Thoughts and mindset are everything. Every single area of your life right now has been manifested because of your thoughts. But you don't have to believe the things your mind tells you! Every single thought can be changed. Choose to cultivate a healthy mindset.
18. Most meaningful things in life don't come easy. When we choose instant gratification (the easy option), we get that wonderful hit of dopamine we all seek, but these are often fleeting moments of pleasure. The most fulfilment comes from discipline, consistency, and hard work.
19. Regularly de-clutter, whether that be clothes, cupboards, paperwork, friends, email inboxes or your overwhelmed mind. Get rid of anything that no longer brings you joy or no longer serves you. Simplicity is key.
20. Create a strong relationship with money; be smart with it. Invest it. Save it. Let it grow. Understand the value of what you earn and the value of what you own. Spend within your means. Regularly review your finances and let your money work for you (I learnt this one late!).
21. Savour the good times and be prepared for bad times. There will be ups and downs, ebbs and flows. Opportunities will come and go. That is the reality of life. Appreciate the good times and be grateful. Remember that all moments are temporary (both good and bad).
22. Visualise. Picture your ideal life daily and consistently take small steps towards your vision. Each small step adds up to an incredible life.
23. People will push you as far as you’re willing to go. Be assertive and know everyone is looking out for themselves (as they should be). Set your boundaries and stick to them.
24. No one is above you. Don’t put anyone on a pedestal. Everyone is human and has strengths and weaknesses. No one is too good or too successful for you to talk to.
25. You have nothing to prove to anyone about your value. Do your best. You are enough. Anyone who makes you feel otherwise does NOT deserve your time, energy, or attention.
26. Worry less; don't waste your time or energy on things out of your control or on things that haven’t even happened yet. Our fear is always worse than the actual reality. Let it go. Breathe.
27. Any skill can be learned, it just comes with practice. There are no shortcuts or magic pills; just do the work and learn to love the process. And don't be afraid of making mistakes; own them and learn from them.
28. Failure is almost never fatal; life does go on and sometimes you just have to put one foot in front of the other until the new path becomes clear.
29. You can’t control how other people treat you, but you can control how you respond. When you come face to face with unkindness, ignorance, or spite, you are in charge and choose how you react.
30. Do what you love and love what you do. Doing work that you find compelling and that you truly love is the best gift you will ever give to yourself.
31. Maturity is not about age; it’s about taking responsibility for your life and owning it. Only then comes true empowerment.
32. You never move on from grief, you just learn to move forward with it. But love is stronger than death. Always.
33. Take care of your body, you only get one. Eat food that nourishes your body. Keep active. Get enough sleep. Drink water. Go to regular dentist and doctor appointments. And (to quote Baz Luhrmann) ‘’wear sunscreen’’. It really is important.
34. Pay attention to the world around you and give back to others. Choose to make a difference for people who may need your help, whether that be your time, energy, attention, or an act of kindness.
35. Slow and steady wins the race. The moral from the fable The Tortoise and the Hare was spot on; it doesn't matter how slowly you go, as long as you don't STOP. Consistent, effective effort leads to success.
36. Magic happens every day. The sun rises and sets, flowers bloom, seasons change, babies are born, friends embrace, people laugh. Take time to notice the magic. Watch out for it; it happens everywhere, every day.