Do you sometimes find yourself running on empty, with nothing else to give?

Despite all my best intentions, this is how the last week has panned out for me.

Meeting the demands of my full-time job as a construction project manager whilst juggling my coaching business and raising my daughter (during a global pandemic, I might add) can sometimes take its toll. I’m only human, after all.

In the past, my coping strategies would consist of a pack of Marlboro Lights, copious amounts of wine and gin, and as much junk food as I could stuff into my mouth (not to mention, an unhealthy dose of denial).

But when our enthusiasm and zest for life are waning, and we’re just downright exhausted and running on empty, SELF-CARE IS VITAL.

It’s also when it feels most impossible.

Our motivation has deserted us, it feels like everyone is out to get us and ‘normal’ tasks just feel damn right overwhelming, leading to feelings of inadequacy, frustration, guilt and shame.

This is when I activate my self-care survival strategy.

The key here is being self-aware and coming to the realisation that you need to STOP and take stock.

Apart from making sure I drink enough water and eat healthy, nutritious food on a regular basis (plus a glass of wine or two, where needed), here are some self-care tips that will help you through when you find yourself on your knees:

1.) TAKE A NAP

This is such an obvious and natural thing to do, but this is where my inner critic used to pop up and chastise me for being lazy, making me feel guilty and ashamed. I got it into my head that if I took a nap, I was wasting time by not doing something more productive.

These days, I’m a bit kinder to myself and recognise that sometimes we just need to catch up on lost sleep and allow our body to heal, both physically and mentally.

Sleep is imperative to our wellbeing and it affects all aspects of our health and mood, as well as our subsequent decisions and behaviours.

If you struggle to sleep, try listening to soothing music or white noise, or do some breathing or meditation exercises. Using lavender oil or spritzing some lavender spray over your pillows can also help to induce sleep; there are several studies that show lavender helps to improve sleep quality and promote relaxation.

2.) BE KIND TO YOURSELF

When we're running on empty, we often have a distorted perspective of ourselves. Think about how you would treat a friend or loved one in the same situation and treat yourself with the same compassion, kindness, patience and love you would show others. Let your negative thoughts come and go.

Ask for help and support in whatever way you need it. Be direct; friends and family will be happy to assist.

Look at other means of support as well; are there any online support groups, forums or helplines that you could speak to? Keep connected, but at the same time, take time for yourself and be gentle.

3.) RETREAT FROM THE WORLD

Sometimes, we just need to give ourselves room to breathe and recover. Take it slow and take comfort in the simple things; take a shower, curl up under your duvet, watch trashy TV, read a book. Get into full-on hibernation mode; limit social media, turn off the news, hide your phone and just retreat from the world.

At the start of the weekend, I picked up some new books and some fluffy slipper socks while doing the weekly grocery shop. I’ve since spent time curling up on the couch with copious amounts of tea - bliss! The key here is to do the bare minimum.

We tend to give ourselves an even harder time than usual when we’re feeling low, so lay off the pressure and just stop, reflect and BE. The world can damn well wait.

4.) JOURNAL

Recent studies show that an average person has more than 6,000 thoughts in a single day. Of those, 80% are negative. That’s a lot of negative thoughts to process! By writing them down and seeing them in black and white, I find their power lessens.

I used to think writing in a journal was a waste of time, but I’ve found over the years that it’s a fantastic (and therapeutic) way to vent my frustrations, make sense of my emotions, help identify patterns of behaviour and serve as a reminder of the progress I’ve made.

Use your journal to release all the bad stuff, but use it to jot down the good stuff, too. Record your wins, nice things people have said or done for you, acts of kindness and things you are grateful for. Read back over when you’re having a dark moment and a dose of sunshine is needed.

5.) RELEASE YOUR INNER CHILD

This is difficult in the current climate with limitations on certain activities, but as we get sucked into the world of ‘adulting’, we forget to play and to do things simply because we enjoy them.

Take inspiration from your childhood; you might rediscover some ways to unwind and distract.

And if you have kids; take inspiration from them. Let them lead you into a world of imaginative play; let go of your inhibitions, rules and responsibilities and take time to re-ignite your passions and the things that bring you joy.

**Self-care at any time is important but in the current climate, it has now become essential.**

More so than ever, our lives are stressful, overwhelming, and uncertain and our self-care and self-compassion often take a backseat. Remember, when life gets hard, put on your oxygen mask first. The world can damn well wait.

When Life Gets Hard: 5 Self-Care Survival Tips