Ease The Strain: 4 Tips For A Stress-Free Christmas
It's Christmasssss! Can you believe we’re here already?
For some, December marks the season to be jolly, and is considered the most wonderful time of the year. But for others?
It can be a significant period of pressure, stress, conflict, and loneliness.
Life can be overwhelming at the best of times, but in the run up to Christmas, where excess and expectations are rampant, even more so.
As women, we tend to put everyone else first, and if you’re a mum, the additional pressure to provide the ‘perfect’ Christmas can lead to complete exhaustion, guilt, and burnout.
And it affects all areas of our life: our quality of sleep, our nutrition and exercise (or lack thereof), our state of mind, and our productivity and mood. It also has a detrimental effect on those around us, causing strain in our most important relationships.
There's so much to do and buy, that the true spirit of Christmas often gets lost.
If you fall into this latter camp but want to ease the strain, stop stress in its tracks and make the festive season more enjoyable, check out my tips below.
1. Set Limits
Money issues are one of the leading causes of stress during the holiday season, which is not surprising really – not only are there gifts to buy, but entertainment, travel, food, and booze can all fuel financial burden.
So, how do we tend to deal with stress-related money problems? We turn to smoking, booze, gambling, partying, excessive eating or overspending on ‘stuff’! It’s a perpetual cycle, and fuels behaviours which can lead to conflicts with family and friends, along with feelings of guilt and shame.
And if you have kids? The pressure to give them the ‘perfect’ Christmas, along with the biggest, best, or most expensive toys, makes it difficult not to overspend and blow your budget – or worse, rack up debt on your credit card.
Since having my daughter, I've become quite self-aware of how much I tend to spoil her with toys and treats, and just how unnecessary all this ‘stuff’ really is. Whilst I’m grateful that we can afford to spoil her, it’s important to remember that it’s the time and connection with us that she enjoys the most, and we can make Christmas magical for her without having to spend a fortune on a crazy number of extravagant toys (that she rarely plays with, I might hasten to add!).
I still treat her, especially at Christmas, but I now limit the amount of ‘stuff’ we buy and concentrate instead on the experience of Christmas (the irony here is that I rarely buy ‘stuff’ for myself, as I’ve always preferred experiences, but sometimes, when it comes to your kids, you want them to have it all).
Keep in mind what’s most important this year – your relationships and time spent with friends and family, not material objects! Remember to set yourself limits; limit spending, limit the number of parties, activities, food, and booze you indulge in. Set a budget and stick to it. And only say yes to the things you truly want to do - say no to everything else.
2. Manage Expectations
As women, we like everything to be done our way and we don’t delegate or relinquish control of responsibilities easily, especially in the home. Our to-do lists are endless and our cognitive loads…well, they’re overloaded!
So, when the reality of Christmas falls short of the idea or vision we have in our head of the perfect holiday celebration, stress, pressure and overwhelm can ensue. Try to manage expectations by being realistic. If things go wrong (as they inevitably will), take the opportunity to exercise flexibility and resilience and laugh it off. Don’t let it ruin your day.
And when it comes to overloading yourself with a massive to-do list, make sure you set expectations at the start by telling the people in your life EXACTLY what you need. Enlist some help in accomplishing some of the tasks on your list.
🙋♀️ Hosting dinner?
Ask each person to bring one dish each. Or simplify the menu.
🙋♀️ Can’t afford to buy everyone and their mum a present?
Tell them you’re not doing presents this year and you do not expect anything in return – seeing them over the holiday is present enough (and don’t feel guilty if they break this and buy you a gift!). Or agree to do a Secret Santa where you only purchase one gift each and set a limit on the cost.
🙋♀️ Need help with food prep, gift wrapping, arrangements, activities?
Get your partner, kids, family, or friends involved! Delegate tasks and responsibilities and then step back – watch everyone come together and have fun in the process. After all, that’s what Christmas is about.
Remember, you don’t have to take on everything yourself.
3. Focus on Gratitude & Giving Back
Christmas can often remind us of what we don’t have – a loved one that is no longer in our life, for example, which can make us feel sad and lonely at this time of year. Or perhaps we are just not where we want to be financially or career-wise, especially in comparison to our peers, and this can make us feel anxious, depressed, and worthless.
But instead of coming from a place of lack, bring yourself some peace this Christmas by refocusing your mind on all the wonderful things that Christmas brings, while reflecting on and being thankful for everything you DO have.
Make a list of all the Christmas activities you’ll be participating in that you’re really looking forward to, the people you’ll be spending time with (or that you can reconnect with if you haven’t yet made plans to see anyone), and all the sights, sounds, and tastes of Christmas that you love.
Going to be alone this Christmas or want to give back to your community? Why not volunteer at a local soup kitchen, food bank, retirement home, charity, or homeless shelter? Or put together a Christmas box or gift a digital voucher for underprivileged children.
I have volunteered for quite a few of the above in the past (not necessarily all at Christmas), and put together a Christmas box with my daughter this year, for a national, independent children’s charity. I fully intend to get her involved in volunteering in the community when she’s a bit older, too – a Christmas family tradition I am very passionate about implementing.
Whatever you do, invoke the true spirit of Christmas, and focus on giving, sharing with others and being appreciative of what you have.
4. Make Time for Self-Care & Have Fun!
Over the festive season (or any time of year), it’s important to focus on prioritising your needs. Use your holiday time to pay those bills that have been weighing on your mind. Curl up with a book you’ve been meaning to read. Connect with friends you haven’t seen for a while. Revisit a hobby. Cook and eat healthy food in between all those treats. Get off the couch and explore your local area. Move your body. Reflect on your goals and lessons learnt. Plan for the year ahead.
Whatever you do, make sure you find something that will restore the balance between your mind, body, and spirit. Something that you find relaxing and nourishing. And give yourself permission to have fun!
Watch a Christmas movie, make Christmas crafts, dance around to Christmas songs, bake festive cookies, sing Christmas carols, attend a Christmas concert or market, attend parties and drinks, go for a massage. And laugh! Forget all the items left on your to-do list and just enjoy the true spirit of Christmas, full of connection – with yourself and with others.