The 5 Biggest Life Coaching Myths - Debunked!
When you hear the words ‘Life Coach’, what comes to mind?
Maybe you think a Life Coach has all the answers and is an expert on life? Or perhaps you think coaching is just for high-flyers who have lots of money to burn?
The term ‘life coach’ (not to mention the varying titles such as Mindset or Wellness Coach - an indication of specialty niche) gets bandied around a lot these days, leading to confusion over terminology, the role of the coach and the service they can provide.
Many people are wary about engaging a coach and rightly so; a little bit of skepticism is healthy (not to mention wise!) when you are looking at investing time, money, or energy to any endeavour.
Like with any industry, there are many coaches that are not effective and some that give the profession a bad name. I would always recommend doing your research first; check out credentials, training, and experience, as well as ensure you have the right chemistry and rapport.
Coaching is a rapidly expanding field, full of misconceptions, and whether used in sport, business, or life, is about helping individuals to solve their own problems, improve their performance and achieve their full potential.
After many years of personal research, training, and experience in providing coaching services to incredible women, I want to clear up some of these misconceptions.
Here are 5 common myths I hear often when it comes to coaching:
MYTH #1: LIFE COACHES ARE EXPERTS AT LIFE (AND WILL FIX ALL MY PROBLEMS!)
Many life coaches claim to lead perfect lives, have everything worked out, and tout themselves as guru’s or experts at ‘life’. They claim to have the ‘magical’ solutions to our problems (‘‘hey, this is what I did; you can do it too!’’). But we can only ever be an expert of our OWN life.
It’s also worth noting that a coach does not have to be an expert in the client’s field of work or have had the exact same experiences as the client to coach them (after all, what helped me in one situation, may not help you in the same situation). The coach is also not there to impart advice or tell their client what to do.
What a professional coach can bring to the table is the fact that they are an entrepreneur, which means they are very familiar with challenges, fears, and change. An effective coach will also be thoroughly trained and will possess the knowledge and understanding of theories, frameworks, strategies and processes.
But most importantly, an effective coach will be able to apply their knowledge, using a variety of skills and techniques: framing powerful questions, active listening, recognising limiting beliefs and unhelpful patterns of behaviour, and seeing things objectively and from different perspectives.
Life coaches are not experts at life, but they are experts at helping others create positive change in their lives; and they often lead by example.
Similarly, an effective coach is not there to ‘fix’ the client, provide them with the answers or solve their problems; only the client can do that.
A good coach believes that every individual has the resources and answers within them, and it is their job to explore and develop this with their clients, empowering them to take responsibility for their own lives.
MYTH #2: LIFE COACHING IS A NEW FORM OF THERAPY OR COUNSELLING
Let’s start with the similarities.
Whether working with a coach or therapist, both will seek to explore and understand past behaviour, as this is crucial in setting new behaviours and patterns in the present and for the future.
Coaches and therapists also strive for similar goals for their clients; self-knowledge, self-awareness, self-compassion, and a shift or change in thoughts, emotions, perspective, mindset and/or behaviours.
However, therapists are uniquely trained to explore and investigate childhood origins, family history and unconscious meanings, whereas coaches are not.
Further, if someone has suffered considerable trauma, has an active mental health diagnosis such as clinical depression or schizophrenia, are involved with misuse of drugs and/or alcohol or suffering from toxic abuse, it is crucial to seek help from a therapist or counsellor – not a coach. A good coach would assess this in their first call and should direct that potential client to a therapist instead.
That’s not to say that therapists only work with people with serious problems; they also help well people feel better too!
Coaching however, focuses on meeting you at a functional place from the start and asks, ‘‘Where do you want to go from here?’’
The role of the coach is to help you develop your potential, explore and bring out the resources you already have inside you and improve your performance. The emphasis is on action, accountability, and follow-through.
It’s worth noting that lots of coaches (including myself) are multi-disciplinary practitioners, meaning they have trained in various helping disciplines and can bring a wealth of combined knowledge and skills to the table. They could be qualified psychologists, psychotherapists or counsellors, or they may have trained in NLP, CBT or Mindfulness, to name a few.
MYTH #3: COACHING IS EXPENSIVE AND ONLY FOR THE RICH
The truth? Coaching CAN be expensive. But this is all down to perspective and is relative to each person’s situation.
Coaching fees vary widely and can be anywhere between £50 - £3,500 per hour; that is a massive difference! Those who command the highest fees, tend to be the more experienced, executive or ‘celebrity’ coaches, but that is not always the case. There are lots of experienced and fantastic coaches charging a much more reasonable rate, for instance, and who work with clients from all walks of life.
There are also many different offerings out there, with group coaching or workshops often on the cheaper side, compared to the 1:1 coaching options.
So, if you’re thinking that coaching is an unnecessary expense, with little return on investment, think about all the people who are paying at the higher end of the scale. Either there are a lot of gullible people wasting their money (probably – although to some, a mere drop in the ocean), or they are getting results worth at least the cost of their coach.
It really comes down to whether you see your personal and/or professional growth and development as a worthy investment.
If you are interested in hiring a coach, shop around and find the right coach for you; one with the right skills and chemistry, that can provide the value and results you are after.
Remember, 1:1 coaching fees should cover the actual contact hours of coaching only, and are usually supplemented with unlimited phone/email contact and professional development resources.
Still on the fence? Ask yourself what it will continue to cost you emotionally, physically, and financially if you don’t achieve your goal/s?
MYTH #4: COACHING TAKES A LONG TIME
Have you ever started working towards a goal, but found that life got in the way (through no fault of your own) and suddenly your hopes and dreams get put on the back-burner? No judgement here, I have done this myself!
For example, have you ever signed up for a new gym membership and started exercising, only to give up after a month because life got busy? Or started meal prepping to be healthier, but stopped after a couple of weeks because it was just too much hassle? Perhaps you have started a new hobby, project, or business venture and started out consistently, but then lost your stride?
As humans, we often fall back into old habits, seeking solace in our comfort zones instead of taking action that will produce the results we want. Sometimes, we never revisit those dreams; other times, we reset the goal, only for the same pattern to repeat itself. Meanwhile, we are moving further and further away, still with no progress.
How many weeks, months, or years have you already spent trying to achieve your dreams? How much time have you wasted already?
If you’re still wondering if it’s worth the time to invest in yourself, consider how you would feel if nothing had changed this time next year.
MYTH #5: I DON’T NEED A COACH
Just like all great athletes have a coach to improve their game and performance, a life or mindset coach can help individuals achieve their potential and reach the outcomes and results they desire, both personally and/or professionally.
A lot of people believe they don’t need help; that they can manage their own challenges and that coaching wouldn’t be of any real benefit. But sometimes we are so busy and stuck in our own perspectives, that we only see what we want to see.
Coaches have the skills to assess circumstances objectively, without the influence of emotional ties. They are experienced and trained to notice and identify things that might be missed, addressing blind spots and providing fresh perspectives.
But a good coach doesn’t expose shortcomings, give advice or force you to do anything you don’t want to; instead, they help you come up with your own solutions and help you build on your resources, skills and strengths; all your answers are already inside you, a coach just acts as a catalyst and provides accountability. They help you finish what you start and keep the momentum going so you can achieve your goals and dreams.
Just look at the success of Roger Federer, Bill Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, Serena Williams or Leonardo Di Caprio; they have all famously worked with and advocate the value of coaching.